5 Months Old

Aaron is 5 months old, and it’s time for another update! As you can see from his picture this month, he has found his feet! He loves to lie on his back, grab onto his toes and roll around. It is very cute to watch! This month it appears that his growth is more in his weight, rather than his height and head. He was so big for the charts at the doctor’s (that shows children’s growth in relation to one another) that that’s really ok. Here’s where he is this month:

• Weight - 16 pounds, 11.5 ounces (60th percentile)


• Height - 27.25 inches (95th percentile)


• Head - 17 inches (50th percentile)

I feel like there’s been so much that he’s doing that’s new this month. I think I’ll start with food. Last month, I was hoping and praying that his doctor would tell us that it’s ok to start giving him rice cereal. I had hoped that doing so would help him to sleep better. I thought that maybe as fast as he is growing, that he wasn’t getting enough. The doctor said to go ahead and give it a try. It was so much fun to watch him try to eat with a spoon and learn a new skill. He spit out so much of what we put in his mouth! He’s been a good sport to keep trying it with us. I have to say though, that it brought about no change in his sleep habits. He still got up 3 or so times in the night, and it took some work to get him back down again. We have since laid off the rice cereal in favor of doing a new sleep regimen that I’ll tell you about in a minute. He is, as of this writing, still exclusively on breast milk, and it’s going well. I am breathing a sigh of relief that we’re five months in, and still going strong! It is lots of work, but Aaron and I keep at it as best we can.

Aaron Eating Rice Cereal:


As for sleep, he is FINALLY sleeping through the night! Wahoooo!!! It has been a difficult transition, but we are so very relieved to find a routine that is working. One of our favorite baby books says that babies are neurologically mature enough to soothe themselves to sleep at four months, and are therefore at a great age to start putting a more organized sleep routine in place. I think I had resigned myself that I wasn’t going to sleep again until Aaron went to college (and even then it would still be sketchy). Chris on the other hand was on the verge of desperation and willing to try anything. He was adamant that we would figure this out, and wanted to start trying some new things. If we were really going to do this, I felt that we should have an organized plan in place. A co-worker told me about a book she and her husband swear by called “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” She was falling all over herself telling me how fabulous it was. I told Chris, who rushed out to get the book, and proceeded to devour it. He is now our household sleep expert! Basically, here’s what we do:

• Contrary to what you’d think, the earlier you put a baby to bed, the longer and deeper they sleep. At this age, they need to go to bed about 6:00-6:30pm or so. If they go to bed this early, they should sleep for about 12 hours with minimal wake up calls in the night.
  
• Babies this age should only be awake for 2 hour stints during the day. You will start to notice them giving you sleepy signals at the hour-and-a-half mark such as yawning, rubbing their eyes, fussiness, etc. It’s time to put them down for a nap.
  
• If you ignore the signals, their bodies will produce a hormone that fights fatigue. Over the course of the day, this will build up in their system, making it very hard for them to sleep well at naptime and at night.
  
• A typical schedule would look like this:
  
  
  
  • Up at 6:30am
  
  
  • Nap in the morning at about 8:30 for 1-2 hours
  
  
  • Nap middle of the day for 1-2 hours
  
  
  • Nap in the late afternoon – this may or may not happen depending on how well they’ve napped earlier in the day.
  
  
  • In bed at 6:30PM, and sleep through the night, maybe getting up once or twice for food in the night.
  
  
  
  
• If you don’t make it a priority to teach him good sleep habits now, they could end up having sleep problems forever (insomnia, etc). The guy who wrote the book is a pediatric sleep expert at the Children’s Hospital in Chicago, so he sees the worst of it all the time.
  

I have to say that this program works!!! Aaron is following this regimen perfectly. When he is up at night for food, he eats and usually falls asleep on me. I lay him back in bed, and the whole thing takes about 20-30 minutes tops, where we used to be up an hour or more trying to get him back to sleep.
The problem is that when he sleeps from 6:30pm to 6:30am, we hardly see him. That was a pretty painful transition. I now get up at 5am every morning to rush through my morning routine so that when he gets up, I have an hour with him before work to play and hang out. Then, I get a small bit of time when I get home in the evenings before I put him to bed. It is really tough. But, when he is awake, he is the very best version of himself. He is all smiles, coos, wiggles, and squeals. He feels so incredibly good now that he gets enough sleep. It really is the best thing for him.

I have also learned through this process that I don’t think I can be a cry-it-out parent. Meaning, some of these methods are all for putting a baby in bed awake, and letting them cry until they wear themselves out and go to sleep on their own. We did this the first couple of nights, and you had to peel me off the walls afterwards. I don’t believe that at this age he is being manipulative by any means, doing stuff to make me want to keep him up longer. So, when I put him to bed at night, I snuggle him until he is completely out, and then put him down. It takes about half an hour, and is so worth it for the emotional peace on all of us.

Another fun development this month is that Aaron is rolling around so much now! His strength has always amazed me. He could go from front to back for a while now. This month, he is flipping from back to front like a champ. A neighbor made us this huge fleece baby blanket when Aaron was born. I always wondered what we’d do with a blanket that big. Now, seeing how much Aaron rolls, doing 360’s all over the place, it makes sense! I am grateful to have that blanket now! The crazy part is that he has also figured out that if he could just get his legs up under him when he’s on his stomach that something cool would happen. I think crawling is on the way! He grunts and pushes and fights so hard to do it. He can kind of get a baby downward facing dog going before his front end collapses! He can’t quite get his front end and back end working in tandem the right way. Oh my, it seems too early for this, but Aaron may have other ideas!

Favorite pictures/video from this month:

Aaron LOVES to be read to! Here we're doing "Pat the Bunny"

We found Aaron this way after a nap! He was in there goofing around when he should have been sleeping...oops!

Chris and Aaron got a hiking backpack for Christmas. Looks like it fits!

We live down the street from an old ranch (made up to look like Colorado when the settlers first came in the 1800's). We went down to look at the animals yesterday. The horses were enjoying being petted by the neighbors!


Aaron, rolling over:
This video takes a while. Every time he starts doing something new and I want to get it on camera, he stops doing it as soon as I start trying! He eventually decides to comply, but it takes about 3 minutes!

Yep, You're In the Right Place

It's a new look! Chris has been bugging me since forever to change the name of the blog. Since I began this blog, I have been calling it the "Infertility Diaries." While we did have to do in vitro to get Aaron, it was never because we were infertile. It was all to screen out the illness that took Noah from us. This last week, I was at Target, and found a cute bib that says "Star of Mommy's Blog." I laughed out loud when I saw it, and figured that this was it. It's finally time to do this. We took Aaron's picture in his new bib today, and here we are with a full on makeover! Now that Aaron is here, we might as well do this up so it will fit for a long time, as he is pretty much one of my favorite subjects to write about. So, come on in, grab a cup of your favorite tea, and settle in for more stories of the Wilkerson family with our new look!

4 Months Old, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Here we are at another month birthday ready for another update! Aaron is doing great. I am loving this stage. He is all smiles, laughs, coos and squeals. He is very interactive, which is so much fun. We went to the doctor today for a checkup. It always makes me feel so good because they have a developmental milestone checklist, and he is always doing everything that he is supposed to. The list for today was:

• Smiles to get attention


• Keeps head steady when sitting on our lap


• Rolls and reaches for objects


• Wants to play


• Likes to cuddle


• Lets us know when he likes or dislikes something


• Babbles


• When on his tummy, uses his arms to lift his chest

The only thing I wasn’t sure that I could check off was “calms down on his own.” I have to say we really don’t give him the opportunity to do that very much. I wonder if I could let go enough to let him try it? The doctor said he is at the place where
he should be able to do that.

They weighed and measured him. He is such a big boy! Here’s where he is this month:

• Head is 17 inches – 76th percentile


• Weight is 15 pounds, 5 ounces – 55th percentile


• Height is 27 ¼ inches – 100th percentile. He was off their charts!

The big thing I was hoping for was that we got the green light to start introducing solid foods! He is still not that great of a sleeper. He can be up around 3-4 times a night, and always because he is hungry, so I was thinking he needs more than what I am giving him. He is still exclusively breast fed. I am pumping at work, and it is all going well. But, it is stressful having it all on me. I am constantly paranoid that my supply will take a hit because I am not with him all day, as well as the stress of having to squeeze in pumping sessions in an already busy day for me. I will keep it up and make it work as long as he wants and needs it, but I am glad to get to solid foods both for the hope that this will help him sleep better, and to take some of the pressure of breast feeding off of me. We are going to start with rice cereal, or the doctor said that breast fed babies sometimes do better with mashed banana. We will see what Aaron likes. If that goes well and he gets to the place that he eats more than he spits back out at us, we can move on to yellow veggies (squash, sweet potatoes, carrots), then try green veggies, then fruits last. He said that we start with one (1 ounce) feeding per day at this point. When he gets to 6 months old, we can build it up to 2 ounces a day, then by 9 months, 3 ounces a day. Time to get out that high chair! This should be fun. We will, of course, take pictures and video to share!

I also thought he might be teething. He drools a lot, and he loves “chewing” on his hard toys. The doctor says that lots of moms of 4 month olds claim their babies must be teething because of all the drool. Apparently, 4 month olds just drool a lot and it rarely means teeth. Also, his eyesight and motor skills are developing more which is why lots of toys are going in his mouth. I have to say, with breast feeding being his primary source of food right now, I really don’t mind that that’s not what it is!

Doctor’s visit aside, I have been back to work for a month now. It was so hard to leave him, but it had to be done. He has settled into a great routine with our baby sitter, a stay-at-home mom in our neighborhood. She is just fantastic. He is her only full-time child that she watches, and he lives on her hip all day long. She is such a loving person, and it makes me feel good that there is a really awesome, well-trained second set of eyes on him. She is also a great person for me to have for asking questions of when I get stuck on something. She is a wonderful resource. There is another little girl that she watches in the mornings a couple of days a week. She is just a tiny bit older than Noah would have been, so I love that he gets some access to another child in that age range. The baby sitter’s daughter is also there in the afternoons for a few hours when school gets out, and she and Aaron really enjoy one another. I show up to pick him up, and he’s enjoying a “picnic” on the living room floor with her (with play dough for food!). She giggles as she feeds him pretend baby food. Or, she’ll be laying around with him, looking into his eyes, and making funny noises to him and he’s laughing so hard. His eyes are always on her, wondering what she’ll do next. I love love love this whole situation. It is so good for him.

I, on the other hand, am TIRED!!! This is the part where sleep deprivation really kicks in. When I was home, I could sleep here and there and over the course of a 24 hour period would somehow get enough. Now I have to conform to a schedule. I sleep a lot on the weekends (as much as I can anyways), and feel pretty great on Monday. By Friday, after having had 3-5 hours of sleep a night for a week, I am DRAGGING! I am slowly learning to adjust my schedule. I come home from work, eat dinner, and then Aaron and I go to bed. I am now at the point where sleeping is all I really want to do with my free time. I am getting used to it, and live with it. It is funny how you somehow adjust and manage when you have kids.

I am also really learning to let go more. It has been a slow unconscious change. I don’t know whether it is because I am so tired, I don’t have as much energy to obsess over every little thing, or if I am just getting more comfortable with being a mom, but the hyper-vigilance around protecting him from any sort of perceived danger is lessening. I am kind of relieved for his sake. He deserves to have a normal childhood, no matter what we lived through before he got here. For example, I don’t mind being out in groups as much, or environments that I don’t feel that I can control, or situations that take my constant attention away from him. I am also beginning to trust leaving him with others so Chris and I can go out for short stints. It is all baby steps on my part, but it is getting easier, where it as felt almost impossible before. My fellow grieving parents said that it takes a few months, and they are right. Here we are month four, and I am getting there. It is scary, but I am also glad to worry a little bit less.

Finally, it has been a year since my little guy was implanted, and this whole journey began. It has been fun to remember the anniversary of these dates, from the beginning of our infertility treatments, to the retrieval day, to the implantation, and finally the day when I found I was pregnant. This year has been a marathon, facing all sorts of highs and lows. I can’t believe looking at Aaron’s first baby picture, and comparing that with what he looks like today. He is such a joy. I tell him all the time that he was the one that made it all ok again, after all we had been through. How did we ever do without our Aaron? He is such a miracle, and our family wouldn’t ever be close to complete without him!

Aaron one year ago (he's the exploding one on top!):



Other favorite photos from this month:





Aaron Videos:

Rolling Over – Aaron is getting to be good at rolling over! This is the second time he did it (managed to have the video camera going this time!)


Jumperoo – Aaron has a new favorite toy! He laughs and squeals as he bounces around in this thing!


Screaming Match – Aaron is very vocal these days! Chris caught us stretching our lungs together. We were having a really good time, as you can see!

Three Months Old!

Holy cow, he’s 3 months old! Another month has passed and my boy continues to grow like a weed! We weighed him last weekend, and he came in at 13 pounds, 12.5 ounces. That is up almost 2 pounds since last month! He is still right at about the 50th percentile on his weight. He grew another inch this month and is 26 inches tall now! That is still in the 95th percentile on height! His head is 16.5 inches, which is 75th percentile I believe. It seems like every day I put him in clothes that he used to swim in, and suddenly his feet are about to break through the bottoms, and his onesies are stretched so tight! I sigh with a smile, take him out of the outfit and pack it away, while going to the next size up in his closets and drawers.

This last month was our first without the help of our postpartum doula. I was really scared because I depended on her for so much. She kept the house together, helped me get extra hours of sleep, a shower, and hot meals every day. She pointed out to me the developmental milestones that Aaron would hit, and what to do about them. Holy cow, how can I do this on my own? It turns out that it has been just fine. About the time she left, Chris and I discovered “The Happiest Baby on the Block” DVD that talks about ways to soothe your baby when he or she gets fussy, and how to help them sleep longer. It is AMAZING and works really well. With figuring out the sleep thing, I feel like I have gotten enough sleep by the time Chris leaves for work in the morning. Aaron still gets up a couple of times in the night to eat, but we will now get a good few hours between feedings which is just heaven!

His daily schedule goes like this: I feed and play with Aaron for a couple of hours first thing in the morning, and then he takes a morning nap, which leaves me time to catch up on getting cleaned up, eat something, and maybe a load of laundry or two. Aaron wakes up and eats. We hang out for a bit until he’s ready for his afternoon nap, where whenever I can, I lay down with him and relax while he sleeps resting on me. One way or another, everything gets done. We have officially settled into life with the baby, and we are somehow just doing it.

He has really discovered his hands. He will look at them as they move in front of him. He will play with his hands, and his new favorite activity is trying to stuff his fists in his mouth (sometimes both at the same time!). He is losing interest in his pacifiers because his fists are apparently far more entertaining to suck on. He has let us know that he no longer likes to be swaddled with both arms tucked in. He will get fussy and squirmy if you do that. He wants one hand free so that he can work on it when he needs comfort. It is also interesting to watch him interact with his toys now too. Where he used to bat them around, and enjoy the noise and movement that it produced, he now spends more time really focusing on his toys, and enjoys grabbing onto them and holding them as he moves them around. It is amazing to watch how he changes!

He is also so much more talkative! When he is awake and feeling great after a good nap and a full stomach, he loves to lay around on his play mat or in his crib and “talk” to us. He loves to try out new sounds and squeals, and will watch your mouth as you make noises to try to copy what you are doing. We are nowhere close to actual words by any means, but trying out sounds is fun for him. He loves to look you in the eyes while he “talks” with you. He also has a wonderful laugh! He is going to have a great sense of humor! I have been trying to record some of our conversations. Here's one:



We had our first Christmas with him this month too. We had so much fun! This was the first year that Santa made his appearance at the Wilkerson household, and Aaron got a lot of really fun toys! He got a foot piano (a piano that attaches to the side of the crib that babies can play with their feet). Aaron has very busy feet and has had a blast playing with it! He also got a “jug full of bugs,” which is basically a fabric container of stuffed bugs. He likes to hold onto the spider and the grasshopper’s legs and fling them around and try to fit them into his mouth. He got a lot of board books too. He still really enjoys being read to. He got lots of Dr. Seuss and the old favorite Pat the Bunny. We took our time Christmas morning and opened gifts for as long as he was awake. We let him take a nap, and then when he was awake we opened some more. We didn’t finish until 2pm! It was a relaxing and fun day, and so awesome to have a child to spend it with!

Aaron and Santa

Aaron and his presents!

Aaron and Dad opening a gift from Grandma and Grandpa Wilkerson

Aaron and Mom opening a gift from Grandma Lester

Aaron's haul! He was a very good boy this year!

Aaron has a new cousin this month too. My brother Will and his wife Amber had their 3rd baby on Christmas Eve! Henry Lester is a beautiful little boy, and we are just so excited for Aaron to have a cousin so close in age that lives nearby. We visited him for the first time last weekend. I hope they grow up to be good friends. Aren’t they cute?



The next big challenge we face is that I am going back to work next week. I am trying not to have heart palpitations and am wondering why I can’t get paid to stay at home and raise my son all the time?! It will be good; it will just take some getting used to. I do love my job and have missed the adult interaction. Also, I have found a fabulous day care situation for him. There is a stay-at-home mom in the neighborhood that has been able to afford to stay at home by taking a neighborhood kid or two. She currently watches a one-year-old little girl a couple of mornings a week. She will have Aaron full time. Her daughter is in full day kindergarten and gets home about 2:30 every afternoon. I love the idea of Aaron beginning to be around other children. I feel a need to compensate somewhat since he will grow up without his big brother here. This mom seems fantastic and I think he will just be on her hip all day long which is perfect.

I will be easing back into my normal routine at work by doing flex time my first few weeks back. I will be in the office from 8am to 1pm. Then, I will come home, feed Aaron, get him down for his afternoon nap, and then finish out the day from home. I am so relieved to be doing it this way. I absolutely love my office for being so great about it. I hope to be back in the office full time in February.

That’s it for now! We continue to have a blast with our little guy and can’t imagine how we ever lived without him. He is a perfect fit to our family and we are doing our best to eat up every minute!

Breastfeeding: Getting Ready to Go Back to Work

Big time gory detail warning here folks.

You’ll have to forgive me, but I have to do another public service post. I have found some great stuff that must be shared in regards to keeping up with breastfeeding when you go back to work. I have talked to my midwife, a lactation consultant and our pediatrician and have gotten a great framework on what to do. I love using this medium to help other moms out there where I can, so here goes.

Ladies, I had three months off for maternity leave, so what I am doing is based on that timetable. I had my son, and had about two months of getting a great start at breastfeeding. We had it down to a science. Now I am doing the following:

The Basis:

When you spend 8-10 hours a day away from your baby, your milk supply will decrease. There is something about the pheromones when you and your baby are around each other that plays into your milk supply. For some lucky moms, this won’t happen. For the vast majority of us, you need to plan on reaching a day when you will not make enough for your baby, and may need to supplement with formula. Knowing this, you can plan ahead and pump well before you go back to work, so when your supply takes a hit, you have reserves in your freezer ready to go so you can keep them on breast milk longer.

Getting Mom Ready:

• A month (or a month in a half if you want a really great start) begin pumping.


• Pump an ounce out of each breast a day at first.


• Gradually build up to pumping a maximum of 4 ounces a day out of each breast. Don’t rush it – give your body time to build up to this.


• Pump right after feeding your baby. (Not after every feeding. Build up to pumping 3 times a day. Again, don’t rush it. Give your body time to adjust to this volume.)


• Try to do it when you have more milk. If you are feeling engorged, feed the baby, then pump.


• Never pump at night.


• There are some great supplements out there to help build your milk supply. There is a company called “Motherlove” that makes some of the best around. My midwife told me to get one of their “More Milk” blends that has “Goat’s Rue” in it. Their “More Milk Special Blend” is the perfect one, but they are all good. Use the Store Locator link to find where you can buy this near you.


• Omega 3 supplements (fish oil, flaxseed oil) are also really great to take to boost your supply. These can be found at your grocery store. Also, be sure to drink plenty of water.


• Important! If you get plugged ducts, fever, chills, mastitis, stop pumping until you heal up and are feeling 100% again. You are doing too much. I had luck with acupuncture to get myself under control again quickly so I could resume this regimen.

Pumping Tips:

• Use the “Letdown” button – Some pumps have a “letdown” button. Check your owner’s manual to see if you have this feature. I have a Medela Freestyle, and the button is located here:
  
  When you pump, if you see your breast begin to stream milk out (as opposed to drops of milk coming out) hit the letdown button. Leave it this way for the rest of your pumping session. This helps the pump to be much more efficient at getting the milk out. It will do longer pulls on your breast, rather than shorter ones.


• If one breast is having a good letdown (milk is streaming out of your breast rather than dripping out) and the other one is just dripping, use this technique to get more milk out of the slower breast. Massage from the very top of your breast down until you find a pocket where when you push on it, milk comes streaming out of the slow breast. Hold it there until it shops spraying out so hard (like, stop massaging - just press in on that spot). It helps you get more milk out in less time. You may need to hold it for a full couple of minutes until you fully drain that cell of milk out.

Getting Baby Ready:

• The very best bottles for breastfed fed babies are the Breastfiow bottles made by First Years


• Start giving baby a bottle a day. A great time to do this is to have dad give a bottle in the middle of the night so you can get a break and catch up on sleep!


• Start with giving baby 1oz, then finish the feeding with breastfeeding. Build up from there. Check with your pediatrician for what’s normal and healthy, but my son takes 4 oz. a feeding usually.


• If he is a natural at taking a bottle, just do a bottle every few days. Save your milk!

When you are back at work:

• Ease back into work if you can. Work half days, do flex time, or go see him at lunch to feed him for as long as you can. They begin taking cereal in their bottles at 4-6 months old. The closest you can get to this age with breastfeeding, the better. Remember, the more time you spend away from your baby, the greater the chance of your milk supply decreasing, so do what you can to spend as much time as possible with your baby!


• By law, your employer has to provide you with a place to pump and time to do it. Don’t be afraid to insist that they honor this.


• When you pump have pictures of your baby around, something that smells like him, MP3 recording of his noises or anything else that would help you connect with your baby at a distance. The biggest thing is to relax as much as possible. This may be hard, feeding self conscious being naked at work, the anxiety around taking time from your busy day to pump, etc. Try to look at it as some quiet time to yourself to relax. Bring a good book with you. Put a sign on the door so that you feel comfortable that you won’t be disturbed.


• Whenever you are home with the baby, you feed him through regular breastfeeding. Everyone else gives him bottles when you are not around. When you breastfeed, it will stimulate your supply.


• If you have to start adding in formula, do it gradually. Start with giving an ounce or two a day and build up from there. Watch for gas and dirty diapers for clues that he’s having a hard time with the change and adjust as needed. Never change your baby’s diet all at once.

Good luck!!!

Two Months Old!

I couldn’t believe it when I looked at my calendar for this week and saw that another month has passed! Aaron is doing great, and he is growing like crazy! He is 11 pounds, 13 ounces. He is 25 inches tall which is in the 98th percentile for his age (makes sense! And, for those keeping track, that's 5 inches since he was born!). His head is 15.75 inches in diameter. He has gained about an ounce a week since he was born, which is the top end of what's normal for a breast fed baby! He is really filling out. When I changed his diaper the other day, I was amazed when I felt his thighs! He is close to having rolls on them! I see it in his face too. He is also has eyelashes now, and is making tears when he cries, which are both new things.

Aaron has had a bit of acid reflux this last month. I’ll feed him, and then if I have him anywhere other than up on my shoulder, he starts crying because it hurts. Poor guy! We got some medication from the doctor, but the problem is that acid reflux babies spit up a lot, and sure enough, as soon as we get medicine in him, he spits it up! I think he doesn’t like the way it tastes, so that might have something to do with it too. We also tried this homeopathic stuff called “gripe water.” He LOVES it! It helps a little. I talked to our midwife about it (they are trained in baby care from a medical perspective as well) and she suggested a chiropractor in town. I was nervous about this because I am not a fan of people messing around with the spine. She assured me that the treatment on a baby would be really non-invasive. I took Aaron last week to this guy, and sure enough, he basically did infant massage on him. Aaron liked it! After two visits, he appears to be completely cured! I am keeping an eye on him to see if it comes back. When it bothers him, he does what I call his “lizard tongue” where he is constantly sticking his tongue out (precursor to the inevitable spit up!) and if I see him do it I may take him back to this guy since it was so quick and easy, and Aaron liked the massage.

Aaron is in a real daddy phase right now. Chris walks into the room, and Aaron lights up like a Christmas tree! He just smiles and smiles at Chris. This really melts Chris’s heart. After being at work all day, to come home to this is pretty great. It is hard for guys in the beginning because babies are so attached to their mothers. It is easy to feel left out. But no, Aaron loves his father, and is eager to show it!

Allow me to take a second to gush over my husband. As women, we can’t help but think about what our guys will be like as fathers when we marry them. I knew Chris would be good at it. He has such a gentle, laid back personality. He has a very kind heart, and I just knew he would be a natural at this. He has just blown me away with both our boys in his ability to connect with them right off the bat! Noah was only here for four days, yet he knew who his father was and felt so comfortable with him; just as comfortable as he did with me. Aaron is no different. Part of it is that Chris is so involved! He’s up in the middle of the night with me, changing diapers, and soothing him back to sleep. He will cuddle up with Aaron on the couch for hours. He has helped me give Aaron his acid reflux medicine and does it better than I can do it. He has great instincts on what Aaron needs and how to take care of him. He is such a great partner in caring for Aaron! I loved my husband before, but to see him as a father to our boys makes me love him even more!

Another of Aaron’s latest things is that he is getting to be more impatient and insistent when he wants things. Namely, he is getting to the place where he will completely fall apart crying! It sounds almost like he is hurt or something, even though I know he is just fine. Every time he does this, it feels like I am getting kicked in the gut. There must be some residual chemical connection between us from being attached through pregnancy or something because of how I feel when this happens. For example, it is as simple as he’s hungry, he wants food NOW and I can’t seem to get it to him quick enough, even though we are sitting down, and I am getting ready to feed him. I understand that this is a phase that will pass, and lord I hope it happens soon. It is really tough.

Maybe what I am noticing is the development of a broader spectrum of emotions in him overall perhaps. Because, on the flip side, he is also smiling so much more, and even has a version of a baby laugh that he does when he is really excited! It is the cutest thing ever. He LOVES his toys, and is just so over the top happy to be down there playing with them on his play mat. I caught the best video of him doing his smiles and laughs the other day. He was lying in his crib for a moment while I went to do something. When I came back to check on him, he had clearly just discovered his mobile and thought it was the funniest thing he’d seen in a while:


Our sleep really hasn’t changed much in the last month. Aaron is still up every 2-3 hours to eat. It is pretty exhausting, but we are getting used to it. I am trying to adjust to his schedule. He starts his night about 8:00pm. If I go to bed when he does, over the course of the night I will get about 7 hours of sleep. The problem is, who wants to go to bed at 8:00? Chris gets home from work in the evenings, and I cook dinner. By the time that’s done, there’s not much time to do anything else other than go to bed. It’s hard because I always end up getting sidetracked on trying to get something done, and before I know it, it’s 11:00!

He is cute when he wakes up. Last night for example, I heard him grunting and shifting around. I got up and went to his bassinet to check on him. His eyes were open, and when he saw me, he gave me the biggest smile! It was so cute, and I love that he is so happy to see me. It almost made me forget that it was 3:00 in the morning! Everyone tells me to hang in there, and that at some point in the not too distant future, this will change. He is growing and developing so fast, I am sure they are right.

We are beginning to think about me going back to work (sigh!). It’s going to be hard, but I have to do it. The lady we were hoping to leave him with during the day has decided that she is too old to take babies anymore, so we are back to square one on child care. We have a couple of contenders that we have found. We hope to have that worked out soon (as in next week or so I think). I am off work until mid-January so I have another month left to go, which is nice.

Monday is our postpartum doula’s last day. I am scared! With her help, the last two months have been much easier than they would have been. Every day I get regular meals and showers. I also get some precious extra couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. I also haven’t done laundry since Aaron was born, or had to do much to clean up my house. All that is going to go away, or will be harder to come by I should say. I know that I need to figure it out on my own. I can’t keep her forever! With her help, I have regained my confidence in my ability to be a mother of a baby, which is exactly what I needed her help with. Think good thoughts for me!

We are really looking forward to our first Christmas with Aaron. We had a blast shopping for him. I know he is too little to get what it is really about, but we don’t care! Last year, it was a hard holiday, after we had been looking forward to having it be about Noah, but then of course he wasn’t there. This year, we are really going to do it up just how we had dreamed and enjoy it. I hope to write about that in next month’s post. In the meantime, have a wonderful holiday from the Wilkerson’s! We are grateful for each and every one of you, and thanks for following along in this journey with us!

Aaron's Smile! - 5 Weeks Old

I have been trying so hard to get a picture or video of Aaron's smile. It never fails that when I get the camera out, he suddenly stops doing it! Tonight I FINALLY caught him on video! Take a look...