Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Here we go again!

Dear Baby,

I am sitting here at my computer on the eve of my first IVF appointment. There will be a lot to do between now and when we do the full cycle of treatment. Lots of tests, lots of prep work, but hopefully in the next few months this will happen. It is weird to put it out there, because this has just been a thought, a wish and a prayer between your dad and me, and a few select others close to us. But we are moving forward. I want a record of this. I want you to know how loved you are, and how much we wanted you and were willing to fight for you since before you were born. I kept a record for your brothers, and you deserve all of the same love that we have had the privilege of giving them.

I never envisioned that I would be a mom of three children. That felt overwhelming once upon a time. But, sweetheart, you are coming to a non-traditional family where one of us is here in spirit. Your life will be spent with your dad and me and only one of your brothers in this physical world. But, you can count on your oldest brother always being there to look after you in his own way. It is a tough burden we carry, and I hope you are prepared to carry it with us. Your brother Aaron does it beautifully, and we will teach you the tricks of the trade. We have a lot of love to give, and we are so excited to have you fall into step with the rest of us.

You are the missing piece of our family. There is a certain air amongst us that something is unfinished. We aren’t complete. We need you. Before we can move on to any next step, you are the key, and we thank you in advance for coming and filling that spot. It belongs to you. I can’t wait to meet you and see how you make your own mark on our family. I am excited to see who you turn out to be – your aspirations and dreams, and learning how I can help you achieve those things. I have been waiting for you. Let’s get started, shall we?