Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I love being a mom.
Oh wow, does this whole process push me outside my comfort zone, and make my head spin! I can’t believe all the steps involved. All of the drugs I have to inject into myself for example. They essentially have me going through menopause for two weeks, and then be so ridiculously fertile for another small stretch of time after that. Acupuncture. Hardcore diet and exercise. Hypnotherapy. Regular therapy. Support Groups. Why do I do it? Because I really truly love my kids and there is no such thing as half way when it comes to them. I know Noah - what he looked like, his little personality, his schedule and movements and such. I don’t yet know his siblings. I do know they are out there in the universe somewhere just waiting for the right time to come along into our family here on earth. I don’t know if they are girls or boys, look more like me or more like Chris, if they are Lester Type A, or Wilkerson Type B. It doesn’t matter. I am deeply in love with them and would do anything – ANYTHING – for them, no matter how uncomfortable or strange it makes me feel. I am going to great lengths to get them here and for them to be healthy, and I love doing every single step of it, because I know it is for them. I take the responsibility of being their mother very seriously, and refuse to take any short cuts. I am dying to get to the day that I get to actually see them and know first hand the payoff of all this hard work. And to make their brother proud to know that this love and energy is not wasted or lost. We were destined to do this with him, and with other children, and I just can’t wait.